


Kuroyuri

by MarineHaddock



Series: Toku Hanahaki [4]
Category: Kamen Rider Ryuki
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crushes, Depression, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Missing Scene, Obsession, Pre-Canon, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:28:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29926542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarineHaddock/pseuds/MarineHaddock
Summary: Tojo had nothing else before Kagawa-sensei, and so he wanted to please him.  He wanted to be a hero for Kagawa-sensei.
Relationships: Kagawa Hideyuki/Toujou Satoru
Series: Toku Hanahaki [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1864243
Kudos: 1
Collections: Makin' Progress March





	1. Chapter 1

The classes were starting to wear on him. He'd run at the first major that would accept him and not thought about what he was getting himself into. He hadn't considered if it was a subject he actually wanted to do; he just knew he needed to be doing something. Wherever he was going, a degree would look better on his resume than having barely scraped through high school. When he applied for Seimei, he'd somewhat assumed they'd take one look at him and tell him there was no place for people like him in their university. After all, they had some self-respect left. They had a reputation to uphold. They didn't need another flaky student that didn't seem that passionate about what he was applying for.

How the tables had turned. Now he was thinking of leaving by his own free will. Not that he could, the course still cost him a pretty penny and he needed to have something to show for it if he was going to make a career for himself.

If he'd make a career. Where was he even going with this? He didn't have any plans for what to do once he actually got the degree. There weren't any jobs in the field he would ever consider a "dream job" for him. He couldn't even remember the last time he had something resembling a dream. It felt like he'd spent the last decade of his life believing he'd never amount to anything. He'd been thrown out with a suitcase and the promise that he'd starve before anyone ever loved him. He hadn't even doubted them. He only kept pushing forward because he felt like he had to. It was what people did. If he was alive, he had to keep going along the path until he couldn't go any further. Whenever or wherever that may be.

Where was that path headed? Was it continuing in a degree he didn't care for that would end in him most likely failing, or would he drop out and, if he was lucky, find some dead-end job? Spending his days pouring coffee for as long as the caffeine kept him going. He sat on the stairs looking over his coursework. He was already late for the deadline on his assignment. Only by a few minutes, but the second he saw it was a minute past 5, he just stopped where he was. What was the point? He knew he'd done badly. He'd done badly on all the assignments. No matter what work he put in, it was all the same in the end.

"Excuse me," a voice came from behind him as the person attempted to sidestep around him. Tojo's eyes happened to flick up just to see who it was as they continued on their way without looking back. He didn't think much of the man at the time except the passing notice that he seemed handsome if rushed off his feet. He found himself staring at the door after him, brain blanked out of his depressive spiral at the interruption.

A sheet of paper lay on the floor by the door, one of the many notes the man had been carrying. He had to wonder what kind of subject that man was teaching or studying potentially. He picked up the sheet of paper and looked it over.

It was written in English, which he had no hopes of reading. He'd never been good at English, but he could tell a lot of these words went past anything he would have learnt in high school anyway. There were some notes scribbled in Japanese in red ink, but they didn't help to clarify. "Mirrors" and "monsters" and some other words that all served to mean nothing to him when put together. If he were to guess, it was most likely some sort of report for a study. He might have belonged to the science department. What science involved monsters though? He couldn't imagine Seimei had a class on such things.

He'd been alright at science though. Not particularly great, but he'd gotten decent grades when he studied hard. Maybe he'd go and take a look if only to return it to the man. If he pushed it a little, he might get him to explain what kind of "monsters" they were supposedly studying. It might be something mundane in the end. A code name for a project or he'd read it wrong somehow.

Tojo grabbed his bag off the step and went out into the hall, only to find it deserted. Wherever the man had gone, he'd gone there in a hurry. It would be a hard time finding out without knowing what he did or where he did it. What was he going to do with the paper? He could hand it in at the front desk and they would maybe get it back to the man for whatever he needed it for.

His grip tightened on it at the thought. It might be something secret. It might be the kind of thing they wouldn't want anyone knowing about. The sort of thing that the administration team shouldn't know about.

"Monsters". He kept mulling the world over, trying to think what else it could be. If he was seriously studying real monsters, there was no way he had let the university know his actual intention. Putting something like this before them might ruin the man's job.

Tojo folded it up and slipped it into the pocket of his hoodie. It wouldn't be of any use to him but maybe if he got lucky, he'd come across that man again.

He wanted to. It felt like the tiny flash of the man's face was burned into his mind. He wanted to see him again. He wanted to know more about him. He wanted to know what kind of man he was. A scholar of mirrors and monsters.

He doubted he'd run into him again that day. He'd have to leave it and hope their paths would cross again sometime soon. He grabbed his bag off the stairs, heading back down without handing in the assignment. He walked back to his flat, hand clutched tight around the paper in his pocket. He would apologise to his lecturer tomorrow, get told off, probably get told if he was going to waste their time to just get out. The same as had happened with the last assignment but angering him more and more. Or this would be the point it fizzled out into mere disappointment that Tojo still insisted on showing his face.

Back to his flat. Pick up the laundry and take it to the laundromat. Put his money in the machine and sit and look over the assignment, though he was more just staring blankly at it. Check his next assignment outline. Ten thousand words. He didn't know if he even had the first thousand. If he asked, someone could probably lend him their notes so he could make it up. Most of his class were pretty understanding, though they sometimes questioned what he did take notes on since it never seemed to be the important stuff. He didn't quite know himself.

He stuffed them back in his bag and checked his phone. An email from the lecturer. He quickly threw out an excuse about the printer jamming and he would use the one in the library on his way in. Send.

The page was still burning in his pocket. It wasn't like he was going to magically learn English in an hour. It wasn't like the notes were going to make any sense to him now compared to when he'd first read them. But still, he pulled it out and read over them again. "Mirrors", "monsters", "God". Maybe it was just a hobby. The man might be investigating some ghost story or local legend. There was no reason to believe it had to be connected to the university just because he was on their grounds.

He was smiling to himself. It would be interesting to meet that kind of man. The kind that not only believed in monsters but sought them out. The kind of man who wrote and read reports on them. The kind that devoted all their time and energy to something like that. Where had he been rushing off to? Had there been a sighting of something? Had he been planning on hunting them down? Did he spend his nights on long hunts to see what he would find?

How would he meet him again? He couldn't begin to imagine. They might never meet again. It may have been the once in a lifetime chance that slipped by without him even knowing it was taking place. Once is a coincidence, twice is a miracle. It would have to be something amazing for them to meet again.

He opened the university flyer he'd kept in his bag. There was a map on the back. It detailed all the classrooms and labs, where to find the lecture halls. It was a big place. He didn't have any excuse to be running around looking for a man he didn't even know the name of. He'd heard so much in life about grabbing opportunities, about tracking them down and forcing his way in if he really wanted to get ahead. He'd never taken it seriously before. He'd never cared before. Now he wanted to chase this. Wherever it took him, it had to be better than where he was. If it wasn't, it would leave him exactly where he'd been and there was nothing of value lost.

Yet that door was likely to shut itself in his face if it saw him coming.

He headed back to his room with the clothes, dumping them on the chair as he came in and collapsing onto his bed. The piece of paper put against the clock on his bedside table. Maybe he was getting ahead of himself with this. That man might be the most boring person to ever walk the Earth and just happen to have the handsome face that drew him in. He might be rude or he'd take one look at him and recognise him as a no-good time waster.

He might not see him any differently than anyone else did.

He could chase down this man with all the ferocity in the world and when he caught him, he would still be himself. He would still have no dreams. He would still be a waste of time. He would still be the same person he was yesterday. When his touch lingered and the man asked if he needed something else, he'd have nothing to say. The man wouldn't suddenly see something in him. He wouldn't have suddenly become someone else. He wouldn't magically become a better person or more productive or more likeable. The man would look at him and just as quickly forget him. He had no power to leave an impact on someone the way that man had. He would still be the same person people brushed by without a second glance.

Tojo fell asleep, lulled down by his insecurities, his eyes never leaving the page until they were completely closed.


	2. Chapter 2

He was late. God, he had to hope the lecturer wouldn't be buzzing about the library, waiting on him printing out his assignment. Lecturers had to have better things to do than that, didn't they? If he had to he'd just insist that they'd just missed each other and hand him the crumpled copy that was in his bag. It didn't matter. The lecturer would be happy as long as he handed something in as proof of his supposed commitment to learning.

He quickly put on clean clothes and grabbed his bag. He would have to grab something at lunch, he couldn't waste time finding something for breakfast. Shoes on at the door.

His hand hesitated on the door handle.

Back in, grab the note off his bedside table, and out the door.

He set off at a run. The light at the crossing for his way to the university was green. If he was fast he wouldn't have to wait for it to change again. He'd gotten caught at that light so many times and, on such a busy road, it took forever to turn green again. He ran out onto the road without looking up again to check it.

There was a sudden screech as a car stopped mere inches from colliding with him.

Fuck.

Whatever just apologise and run.  
"Are you alright?" Tojo paused and looked to the driver, who was leaning partially out his window. He recognised him instantly from the day before. It really was a miracle. If it had been anyone else, he might be on his way to the hospital. The man looked at him, waiting for an answer, but the words were caught in his throat. 

The man looked him up and down with a nod,  
"Get in."

Tojo hesitated for a second only to hear a horn blaring behind the man's car. Right. He couldn't just stand in the middle of the road in shock all day. He ran around the side and got in the passenger side door. The man took off immediately.  
"Thank you," Tojo muttered, trying to get over the shock. "You don't have to drive me-"  
"You're headed for Seimei University, right? I work there. I can take you. You should be more careful when crossing the road."  
"Sorry."  
"My son watches a lot of hero cartoons. You should go back and watch some. They'll give you some lessons on traffic safety."  
"Right."

What was he going to say to him now that he was actually here? He wanted to ask how he knew where he was headed, but maybe it was just his appearance that gave him away. Running at this time in the morning, a young man of his age, he probably was the most obvious university student anyone would ever see. That didn't matter though. He just needed to get to the university, thank the man for the ride and give him back the paper. There was no way he could wait about to ask him any questions. He didn't even have anything prepared.

"You were on the stairs yesterday," Tojo's eyes widened and he stared at him in disbelief. He had hardly even looked at him when he passed him the day before. "That's why I assumed you were on the way to the university. I'm Kagawa. I'm doing a study at the university. I usually teach, but I'm focused on a project at the moment. I'm usually in late, so I happened to pass you."  
"You remembered me?"  
"I've got a perfect memory for faces. I may have only seen you for a moment, but I remember you."

It felt strange to hear it. There was something strange about the idea that someone would just remember him when they passed so briefly. As if he could stand out the way Kagawa-sensei did.  
"You dropped something when you passed me."  
"Ah, is that where that went? I noticed one of my pages was missing, but when I backtracked I couldn't find it anywhere."  
"Sorry, I wanted to return it but I didn't see where you went," Tojo rummaged in his pocket, pulling out the page to hand to him.  
"Oh? Don't worry about it. I have a perfect memory for notes as well. I only really keep them for my assistant's use. I just copied it out again for him. I needed to translate it anyway. You can throw that copy away if you want."

The words felt like a weight off his chest in the strangest way. It hadn't hit him quite how little he was willing to part with the page. He couldn't understand why. He didn't know what that was meant to mean, but he wanted to hold on to it. There was no way he would throw it away.  
"What is your study on?" If he was willing to let him decide what to do with the page, it was worth asking.  
"I can't tell you," and immediately he was shot down. "It's secret business at the minute. We don't want it getting out."  
"But I can keep this page?"  
"Do you know English?"  
"No."  
"Then I don't see a problem. Even if you did, that page isn't much good to you without the rest of the report."

They were pulling up to the university now. It was only a matter of time before they had to part ways again. It must be nice to remember people's faces so easily. Then he could have just remembered Kagawa-sensei's face forever and clung to his memory without having to seek him out. As it happened, he was not so blessed.  
"If I wanted to find you-"  
"Hm?"  
"If... If I wanted to. Or if I ever had anything to help-"  
"Trust me, I don't think you'll be easily coming across information for our research." Kagawa-sensei was smiling at him. A gleaming toothy smile as he rapidly shot him down. What did it take to change his mind?

The car came to a stop in one of the faculty parking spaces. He only had a few minutes and then he'd be out of time. Kagawa-sensei and all his mysteries would slip out of his grasp once again and he couldn't count on that thrice meeting. He slid out the car just before Kagawa-sensei locked it.  
"My name's Satoru Tojo," Kagawa-sensei raised an eyebrow at him in acknowledgement of having heard him. "It's nice to meet you, thank you for giving me a ride."  
"You're welcome, Tojo."

Kagawa-sensei walked ahead of him and disappeared in one of the side doors of the university.

If what he'd said was true, then at least he could count on that. Kagawa-sensei would never forget his face, and maybe even remember his name to go with it. The handsome Kagawa-sensei would remember him forever. He had his doubts about if that could be true, but the thought was nice.

He stopped at the stairs to his class.

What was one more minute late anyway?

He ran over to the front desk, the receptionist barely looking up at him.  
"Excuse me," She glanced away from the computer screen then right back to it. "I'm just looking for what room Kagawa-sensei is working in."  
"Kagawa-sensei?"  
"Yes," She flicked through the file on her desk, then typed something in.  
"Lab 401. He's in there most of the day. Should I let him know you're coming?"  
"Ah, no. He's not expecting me today, I just wanted to check," she didn't show any sign that she was listening past the word 'no'. He had what he needed. He sprinted up the stairs and into the class.

The lecturer gave him a look but continued with what he was saying. Tojo took his seat and put the assignment on his desk, taking out the rest of his books and the university map at the same time. He laid them out to look like he was busy and scribbled some notes off the board into his notebook before checking the map. Lab 401. What floor was that on? There it was, the second floor. At the end of one of the halls. Which stairwell connected to that hallway? Of course, it was the one he'd been on yesterday, that's why Kagawa-sensei had needed past him. If it was at the end of that hallway though.

That meant it was that room that always looked closed off. He'd noticed it in passing and asked someone about it once. Apparently, there'd been some sort of accident with an experiment a while back. The police never seemed to find sufficient evidence and a couple of private detectives seemed to go in occasionally to take a poke around. A lot of journalism students as well. All people trying to find the answer to what happened in there. The university had been very hush-hush about the whole situation. They wouldn't even say what they'd supposedly been researching in there.

If so many people had been to investigate it, however, that meant there had to be reports about it somewhere. He could ask some of the journalism students what they knew. If they didn't know anything about it, they most likely knew where to go looking for information.

Lab 401.

The receptionist had said he was in there most of the day. It wasn't like he could get in to investigate himself. Kagawa-sensei wasn't interested in having him in to help unless he had something to actually offer. How would he know what he needed to offer if they wouldn't tell him what they were working on? It had something to do with monsters. It could be anything. There had to be some sort of clue on the page Kagawa-sensei had left him. If he just knew what it was a report on, then he might know where to start.

The lecturer's shoes echoed as they approached him. What was today's lesson? How would he hide the map before he passed?

Clack clack. His pace slowing as he approached Tojo's desk. Tojo quickly picked up his notebook, flipping over to the next page and, in the same movement, slipping the leaflet in behind the cover. He scribbled down the page numbers he was meant to be working on from the board at the top of the page before opening to them. Clack clack.

The lecturer didn't stop as he picked up the assignment and continued to another student.

He was getting too jumpy. He didn't have anything to hide. It wasn't even like he was doing his usual slacking off. If anything, he was more focused than he had ever been. It was starting to feel like he'd accidentally stumbled upon some conspiracy. Like he would learn something about Lab 401 that had gone overlooked by the police, the detectives, the journalists. Something that was known only to the mysterious Kagawa-sensei. Now he'd left the opening for Tojo to slide in and learn it too.

Maybe Kagawa-sensei was lonely too. Was it lonely living that life? Remembering everyone perfectly, even when they would forget you? Knowing a secret that no one else could ever know? Would he purposefully leave a clue in hopes of having someone else there with him?

Did Kagawa-sensei want to be followed?


	3. Chapter 3

He didn't know any journalism students. There wasn't any clear area of the university where he could even look to find them. The only place he could think of was getting a bit stereotypical. Hoping that they'd be in the library, pouring over old newspapers in hopes of something they could put a new spin on.

Sure enough, the library was full of students, but he couldn't hope to tell which were actually journalists or even who may be a self-defined expert in the Seven Wonders of Seimei University. If Kagawa-sensei was anything to go by, none of these people were anywhere near handsome enough to possess such knowledge.

Tojo had to find somewhere he could start. Something that may tell him something about past incidents at the university or even point him in the direction of someone he could ask. Someone he could ask.

He found the section of year books and university history just opposite the librarian's desk. Books filled with events that had taken place, photos and lists of the alumni. He flicked through them, trying to find any mention of Lab 401. There had been many experiments in there over the years, each detailed scarcely but accompanied by pictures of smiling students with their teachers. All surely had gone on to wonderful careers using the skills they'd learnt during their time at university. He closed each and moved on to the next year. New sets of students, new teachers, new experiments. Most didn't state what the outcome of the experiments was, but every time the next year brought in a new group, he knew not to dwell on it.

He returned the first stack, moving onto the next few years. 1998, 1999, 2000... last year's was missing. Tojo put the books he'd just taken back, quickly checking the surrounding shelves, checking down the back. It definitely wasn't there. Had someone checked it out? Was someone already using it? He didn't recognise it on any of the tables, but it would be hard without seeing the cover.

He took one of the books, approaching the librarian's desk.  
"Excuse me? I'm looking for last year's book about the university." He held up the copy to show her what he meant.  
"Last year's was removed recently. There were some problems with it and some conflicts of interest, so we've been asked not to lend it out currently."  
"There's no way I can see it?"  
"No, they're being really strict about it. It's most likely to do with the accident with the Ejima laboratory. We had quite a few people asking about it recently and it has administration on their toes," the librarian quickly typed something on her computer. "If you're looking for information on the Ejima laboratory incident, you're welcome to reference the newspapers we have."

Tojo took the offer, pouring himself over the collection of small articles. None of them ran more than a quarter of the page. All the information in every paper perfectly uniform, with the exact same information. No mention of what they had been researching, some students harmed without any names given, a group photo that didn't show any details of what had happened. The university had done a good job of covering up as much as they could.

He stared at the picture, trying to see if anything or anyone stood out, but it seemed much like all the other pictures from the labs. The only thing of note was how only one of them was wearing his lab coat and how he was the only one not smiling. Most likely he was the type to get absorbed in his work and resent being pulled away from it for a frivolous group photo. Everyone else looked perfectly normal, wearing their casual clothes as they stood around their professor, seeming perfectly happy. One of these people could probably tell him what he needed. If he could at least get a name of one of them, it would probably make all the difference.

The only name that the press had gotten was Tsutomo Ejima, the professor. If he asked the librarian about it,  
"I'm sorry, Ejima-sensei went missing shortly after the incident. We don't have any contact details for him." There was no way to tell if that was true or just their way to get out of pushy journalists. Either way, he wasn't about to find Ejima-sensei any time soon. Another dead end.

He ended up leaving the library again with a photocopy of the thumb-sized picture and nothing else left to go off of.

So much for helping Kagawa-sensei. So much for getting to know him. He really had been a fool with this. Nothing was going to come of it.

He'd just wanted a chance. He just wanted to get close to Kagawa-sensei.

He stopped at the gate, watching people pass by on their way home. It was roasting out. He'd been in such a rush that morning that he hadn't even noticed. His hoodie was too much for this weather. He'd need to take it off if he was going to walk home.

He didn't have to go back yet. He turned around and headed back in.

The second floor, end of the hall. Lab 401. He didn't have to give up yet. He pressed an ear to the door.

Silence.

He pushed the door ajar. Still nothing. No one said anything. No sounds of people focusing on their work. He looked in and, sure enough, it was empty. Kagawa-sensei must have left for something.

He just had to be quick.

The room was bright, the sun coming in the window and being sent in every direction by all the mirrors that had piled up in the lab. Tojo tried to shield his eyes and move out of the way, only to be hit by the light from a different mirror. Blinds. There had to be blinds for the windows. Somewhere near the side...

His hand found the cord and quickly pulled them shut. There was still the glow to keep the room lit but it wasn't nearly as bad as it had been.

Other than mirrors, the room had a few desks, computers, chairs, and random stacks of paper scattered about. If he was going to find anything in them it would have to be pure luck. There was no way Kagawa-sensei would be away long enough for him to go through every stack. He would have to start at whichever one was closest and hope it would have something he could understand.

The first one he grabbed and it was just sketches of shapes; rectangles, circles, intricate designs, and maybe a credit card holder. Nothing was labelled, none of it looked like anything actually useful. There were a few sheets just refining the details of those designs and the credit card holder. He set them all to the side, picking up the next bundle.

Well, if he guessed, these would be the "monsters". The drawings were more refined than the others, possibly a different artist altogether, and covered in illegible handwriting. Most of it barely looked like Japanese and what did was minuscule or backwards. He could just make out some names of animals that had some resemblance to the creatures they were written besides. Most of the monsters looked more human than beast though. All standing upright and bipedal, some depicted with hands where the animal would have had hooves, a few without eyes or noses or mouths. There were a couple that held more resemblance to traditional animals, but even they appeared almost robotic in their appearance.

Kagawa-sensei had said his child was fond of hero cartoons.

These had to be real though. Or there was some basis that made them think they were real. There was no way a man like Kagawa-sensei was tailing some fictional monsters, there had to be a reason he was doing... whatever he was doing.

Tojo put the papers back, tidying the stack until it looked untouched.

If the monsters were real, then they would need someone to do something about them, right? That had to be what Kagawa-sensei was thinking. These things were probably dangerous. Kagawa-sensei was probably looking for a way to stop them, a way they could beat them.

He stopped just shy of the door, something on the desk on the far side of the room catching his eye.

He thrust his hand into the pile, taking one that had been buried under all the rest, and slipped it into his pocket. His hand lingered on it. It didn't seem special. Just cheap plastic, with a hinge to open it. It was just a normal cardholder; Kagawa-sensei wouldn't care if he was down just one.

If it wasn't a normal cardholder though...

A small pile of black rectangles. Just like the ones in the drawings. Lying in a messy heap on a desk.

A hand slipped into his pocket, taking the cardholder from the other side and pulling it free of his grip. The chill of the touch made Tojo freeze. He'd been caught. Worst of all, he'd been caught stealing. There was no way he could explain to Kagawa-sensei that he wasn't a thief. There was no way he'd believe him that he wanted to help, that he'd come in to beg to assist him. This was it. He'd destroyed his chance.

"Take it."

That voice wasn't Kagawa-sensei's. Tojo turned to look at whoever it was that had caught him. A man taller than Kagawa-sensei, and far scruffier looking. To look at him, Tojo would have assumed he'd broken into the university and been living in a cupboard for the past year. Yet there was something. Something that seemed familiar. Like they had only just passed each other on the way in.

The man gestured with the cardholder in his hand. It wasn't the one he'd taken from Tojo. This one was blue, with the golden face of a tiger on the front, and a card poking from the opening. 

He took it.

And the man was gone.


End file.
